What can be exciting and thrilling is often times the same thing that is unpredictable and infinitely variable. In essence, that is beekeeping.  The joy of working with these insects is often rooted in a sense of surprise and wonderment.  Very little can be taken for granted, and they don’t read the books. They don’t know how they are supposed to behave at any given time or truly understand the rate of productivity they are expected to achieve by renowned scientists.  Quick case in point; I was told not to expect any honey harvest the first year of hiving a colony, since it takes so much energy for the colony to draw out the foundation into comb that will store honey.  My first hive never got the memo:  it produced more than 80 pounds of honey in a season, despite being told by everyone it couldn’t. I was scrambling to make enough boxes for that one colony.

      But there is also the dark side to this, especially when it comes to removing feral colonies from inside structures or high above in trees.  I have determined it is impossible to ascertain the extent of any colony until the material blocking its view is removed and the entire hive is exposed.  After analyzing data gathered from ambient heat readings, entrance activity, probes inserted to determine presence of comb, and, as always, an acute knowledge of how the books say the bees should build comb in a given situation, I have proceeded with a job only to discover just how much the bees refuse to comply with human logic.

  And then there is a chance this could happen:  http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktxl-bees-swarm-fair-oaks-neighborhood-tv-reporter-attacked-20110729,0,4290267.story

   Admittedly, the above is a constant nightmare I have, and I lose a lot of sleep from anticipating its possibility.  One of the first things I do when I assess a bee removal job is to determine the colony’s demeanor and temperament. I ask the customer questions concerning if anyone has been stung, and if so, how many times and how far away was the person from the hive.   Then, after I take the time to determine that there isn’t anyone within eyesight of the colony, I tap around the entrance in order to see if there is any reaction.  Still, tapping on a wall is decidedly different than taking a damn air chisel to it in order to break way the stucco and one never knows just how they may respond.  And no one is a bee charmer. Once an Africanized colony has decided to wage an all-out war, nothing can be done to calm them down.  What then transpires belongs in a Stephen King novel:  my colleagues have described horses next door to their job site getting stung to death, the bees cloaking their veils in such numbers and ferocity that they struggled to breathe. I have seen bees chase birds out of the sky, send dogs and cats sprinting and yelping away, attack my gloved hand with such timed precision and accuracy that there wasn’t a square centimeter in the leather that didn’t have a stinger protruding from it; all in a matter of seconds.

    No amount of smoke will make a difference at this point. The only thing that can be done is to walk away, just as the beekeeper in the news story did, and make sure everyone in the vicinity knows to keep their distance as well. Only time, sometimes as long as two days, will calm them down.

      Colonies like this are unmanageable, and extremely dangerous. It pains me to see any colony exterminated, but extremely defensive colonies must be put down in order to maintain public safety. I anticipate that is what the beekeeper in the story will do.  Since I do not deal with pesticides, I would turn the job over to a licensed exterminator.   The whole process of this is extremely stressful, dangerous, and horrifying, and I would not wish the experience on anybody.

     All of this is why I take my time in assessing a colony, and I sometimes have to stress patience from the customer who wants the hive out yesterday despite its continued presence for months or even years. Maintaining safety is absolutely paramount and is my number one priority, and no one, besides yours truly, has yet to be stung from a job of mine. I am humble enough, however, to understand it could happen at any time.

    Variables upon variables: this is beekeeping and why it is so fun, interesting, and addicting. But not all those variables are good ones, and it is always advisable to never take a colony’s demeanor for granted. Honeybees, regardless of how docile they may be, are still wild animals.  Disrespect them at your own risk.